Where Did LOL Go?

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At sixteen years old I arrived in the texting world ready to LOL my way through teenage pleasantries and chatter. What a shock. In two months, my thumbs sped up and I didn’t accidentally press “send” anymore; I was improving. There was one thing that clashed with my expectations like a spotted sweater and plaid pants. This one thing was included in every book, movie, television show, and commercial I had ever seen that included text messages. I was disappointed. Letdown. Dissatisfied. 

 

Where on earth has LOL gone? As far as I can tell, LOL was once a cherished friend of high school chums. But now they have backstabbed her, abandoned her, and treated her like garbage. Garbage! 

 

Does anyone remember when LOL covered for them, hiding a crushed spirit under lighthearted casualty after the party invitation never came? 

 

Does anyone remember when she provided the perfect response to that video of the cat with a toilet paper tube stuck on her furry head? We were literally Laughing Out Loud, so that’s how we responded. 

 

On another note, perhaps LOL ought to be left behind if the times have truly changed enough. If people don’t Laugh Out Loud anymore, then we shouldn’t say we do. Insincerity is LOL’s dark side. Harmless at first, it doesn’t take long to look at a meme, snicker with our eyebrows, and reply with LOL. We aren’t laughing out loud. We just want the other person to know that we appreciate that humor. Sometimes LOL should be swapped for I Appreciate That Humor (IATH). Try to pronounce that acronym as a word, and a whole new joke appears.  

 

Perseveringly, LOL should not be done away with! Just because we pushed her off the boat doesn’t mean we can’t help her back on. 

 

But it will be hard. There is one menace who opposes LOL. His fakery is worse than her greatest flaw. He portrays more dishonesty than truth, and his name is much less catchy: Face with Tears of Joy 😂 . He has taken LOL’s place with no apology, thanks, or regret, although it is most certainly not where he belongs. I have five questions – Who? What? When? Where? Why? And flipping grilled cheese on a cast iron skillet How? 

 

I flatter myself that I have the grace to assume the best, that most who use Face with Tears of Joy in place of LOL believe that it’s something more like Laughing Until Tears. But Emojipedia doesn’t lie. (I’m ashamed to have looked it up.) And even if it was Laughing Until Tears, the fault of glaring inaccuracy would still be present. 

 

As it is, in fact, Face with Tears of Joy, most of the places I’ve seen it used have been entirely unfitting. “That’s hilarious, Face with Tears of Joy.” “These kids I’m babysitting are little monsters Face with Tears of Joy.” “A crazy lady came in at work today Face with Tears of Joy.”

 

Have we lost our minds? Forget about growing googly-eyes and believing mainstream media, bristling with needles, choking on restrictions, and slowly succumbing to the poison that is self-care culture. Now we have tears of joy on our faces because of a joke? Somewhere along the path to regaining our humanity, we must save LOL and shove Face with Tears of Joy back into his cubbyhole, where only the Marine overseas whose wife just gave birth may find him. 

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