Brave & Free

At sixteen years old I arrived in the texting world ready to LOL my way through teenage pleasantries and chatter. What a shock. In two months, my thumbs sped up and I didn’t accidentally press “send” anymore; I was improving. There was one thing that clashed with my expectations like a spotted sweater and plaid pants. This one thing was included in every book, movie, television show, and commercial I had ever seen that included text messages. I was disappointed. Letdown. Dissatisfied.    Where on earth has LOL gone? As far as I can tell, LOL was once a cherished friend of high school chums. But now they have backstabbed her, abandoned her, and treated her like garbage. Garbage!    Does anyone remember when LOL covered for them, hiding a crushed spirit under lighthearted casualty after the party invitation never came?    Does anyone remember when she provided the perfect response to that video of the cat with a toilet paper tube stuck on her furry head? We w...

 From sea to shining sea, America is dotted with forests, plains, mountains, and historic sites firmly guarded by the federal government. These areas are known as national parks. They benefit the United States of America economically, educationally, and financially.  When tourists visit a national park, they must eat and sleep somewhere. Depending on the nature of the trip, they may stay some nights at a hotel or campground and eat at restaurants. They could also use services such as Uber or buses. But a business doesn't have to be near a national park to be involved. Everyone gets to pay for the upkeep of national parks whether they want to or not! It's another splendid example of unity in America. The whole economy is involved in national parks.  Who doesn't love majestic mountains, sparkling rivers, and towering forests fiercely guarded by the federal government? Everyone knows that it's impossible to preserve land without the feds. How could we survive without them?...

As I was slicing a rosy apple to go with my breakfast on Monday, May 16, the knife slipped and cut my left index finger. It bled, and I bandaged it, but that's not enough. I want to make sure no one gets hurt by knives ever again.   We need a knife ban, because knives hurt people.  Personally, knives are a trigger for me, and I never want to hear about them again. You will never know how difficult it is for me to write about this. I'm making a great sacrifice. So no more selling, buying, owning, or talking about knives. For the good of us all. They're just too dangerous.  What will we use to cut food? Natural products such as porcupine barbs, swordfish swords, bear claws, shark teeth, and sharp fish fins, all gathered from long dead animals. It's sustainable and good for the environment.  Also, since we will no longer have the need to forge knives, hot kilns will be cold forever. Kilns launch toxic hot air into our atmosphere and are partially responsible for global ...